No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
