It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
