I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
