i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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