I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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