does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
