If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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