Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
