apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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