I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
