When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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