Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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