Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
When are your genitals available?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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