I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
