I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
They have beer where we have blood.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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