Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
