i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Kiss
Puke
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
what is it with giant penises always finding me
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
