if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
