Im at strip club and am horny
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
