Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
