PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
