I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
