So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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