Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
