got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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