When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
