By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
BRING THE BAGELS
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
