You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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