the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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