i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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