Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
