im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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