Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
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