I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
