I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
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