Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
