Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
