I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
