Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
