what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
