I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
