Midget sex pt 2 tonight
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
