Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
