then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
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