The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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