How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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