Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
