PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
