hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
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I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
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This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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