I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
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