i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
