i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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