therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
