somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
