it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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