Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
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