I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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