Just cropdusted the office
well you can't waste a boner
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Randomize
