I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
