Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
