He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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